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<title>The Bose Ultimatum by Effing</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731734">The Bose Ultimatum</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effing/pseuds/Effing'>Effing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>drabble bucket [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>15x20 didn't happen, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Treated Seriously, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:14:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>228</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731734</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effing/pseuds/Effing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This one weird trick will keep the Empty off your back forever!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>drabble bucket [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/215006</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Bose Ultimatum</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Will this be enough to free my brain from its hellish prison? Probably not, but a gal can dream.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing they do—no, correction, like the third thing after confirming nobody present owns the dog that's attached itself to Dean and Sam's really intense texting session—is scour the internet for the absolute best noise-canceling headphones in the world. There's cross-referencing, there's passing phones to Jack for accurate translation, there's the ritual sacrifice of credit card information for expedited shipping.</p><p>They hightail it back home. (They stop at a pet store on the way.)</p><p>It takes weeks to cast all the spells Dean needs for quietude and silence and sleep, to keep them from canceling each other out or combining into something other than what he's after. It's his plan, though, his happiness on the line, and so he's the one who does the work. When he's finished, each spell feeds smoothly into another to form an enchantment so powerful it knocks Jack out cold when he puts the headphones on to test them.</p><p>Dean makes one final deal. The Empty accepts, and sinks into the deepest, quietest sleep of its eternal cosmic existence.</p><p>("You created one of the most powerful magical artifacts in the entire history of the universe just to get me back?"</p><p>"I like to think of it as trading a pair of custom headphones for your life."</p><p>And they're both right, but they have time to find the middle ground now.)</p>
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